Lessons learnt in Phang Nga May 19, 2010
Posted by judegrrl in Books, Culture shock, Days of our lives, From the heart of Thailand, Geography.Tags: hot climate culture
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Okay, so after the long hiatus from blogging, the truth is out.
I’m still not pregnant *grin*
When at first we heard that we would be going on a staff retreat in Phang Nga, I had thought my hubby and I would have time together. Instead we found ourselves bunking with everyone else- me with 2 other girls and Vince with all the rest of the boys.
So really, our time in Phang Nga was a time of re-orientating ourselves (well more for me than for Vince) to the local taste/ lifestyle.
I was re-learning again that the community favoured the group over individual, that it was not so important what each of us wanted to do as opposed to the happiness of our group.
This meant that we spent almost 2 days in the bungalow recuperating from the travel fatigue even though I was raring to check out the big bad city and all the sights.
And it also meant that I spent a lot of time reading. The guesthouse we put up at was owned by an American missionary family- there were shelves of books (both intellectual and whimsical) that gave me literally hours of reading pleasure.
Within a few days I had travelled back to the pioneering days of America with author Janette Oke, learnt how to milk cows alongside the Amish community in Lancaster with writer Jodi Picoult and learnt to pray a lot more from the protagonist in Sophie’s Heart (by Lori Wick).
The most outstanding lesson I had however, came from a conversation with Dtim (one of the church’s female staff) and also my roommate for the trip.
Casually in my stuttering Thai, I asked if she preferred Phang Nga or Phuket.
As her boyfriend was working in Phang Nga and the coordinator for our trip, I naturally thought she would choose Phang Nga.
“Yes,” she replied, “she preferred Phang Nga to Phuket” (I knew it!). And I was anticipating her follow-up reply when she said this.
“Phuket’s more ‘convoluted, messy’.”
Huh, excuse me? How can Phuket be convoluted? It’s the city for goodness’ sake! For a city girl life me, it’s the only way to live life- and the only place to be. Secretly inside of me I must have harboured ambitions to enjoy the luxury tourist perks us back in Singapore have no trouble associating ourselves with. Hotel pool, morning breakfast buffets, beach dips, shopping sprees, Starbucks cappuccinos etc (none of which I got to do in the end).
Then I realised that I together with all who enjoy the above perks were responsible for spoiling the landscape in Phuket. I realised that all this time even though I was breathing the same air and living in the same space as my Thai friends, I was still eyeing life from a Singaporean lenses.
At the very same time I was drawn to the city life, my Thai friends shirked from the neon street signs; they were uncomfortable to be in the city any longer than a brief time of photo-taking.
To them it must have been the same as visiting another country.
I don’t blame them for thinking so.
If my own country was cluttered all over with foreign names selling things I have no use for, at prices that would cost me a week’s pay, even in languages I couldn’t read (I saw a property ad in Greek!), I would feel like a stranger in my own soil.
Today even though Phuket is still undoubtedly the richest province in the country, I’m not sure how many Thai people would deem it the ideal place to live.
Unprofitable anger at mango theft in broad daylight April 22, 2010
Posted by judegrrl in Culture shock, Days of our lives, Father Heart of God, From the heart of Thailand.Tags: anger management, unprofitable anger
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There are a few things that push my button.
Of these, they are: invasion of private space (home), invasion of private time, uninvited guests, uninvited kiddie guests, property theft etc etc.
Just an hour ago, my button was pushed twice simultaneously when my neighbor helped herself to the mangoes in my garden.
Now it’s not the first time this neighbour has done it.
The previous time I saw her helping herself to another fruit tree in my garden, I actually helped her and gave her more fruits on top of what she had gathered.
(Haha, how’s that for loving your “neighbor” and saving her face?!)
And to be honest, I’ve grown to be fond of her after a long and trying period of trying to adapt to her & family.
And today, this…
Okay so I caught her coming out of my garden with 2 mangoes (one that I had earmarked for myself) and I said it’s okay using the easy-going “mai pen rai” to express my “ease”.
Did I just tell a lie?
Twenty minutes later, I found myself still buzzing with a deep seated unhappiness at having been ripped somehow and not being able to express my true feelings.
Then I remembered an article I had read this morning on Unprofitable Anger by Os Hillman:
A friend once told me that anger is like warning lights on the front of your car dashboard. They signal that there is something going on under the hood, and we should take a look to examine the source of the problem. Anger can be traced to a few sources. First, when we lose control of a circumstance that we have placed certain expectations on and those expectations do not result in our desired outcome, we are tempted to get angry. The source of this type of anger is both fear and protection of personal rights. You see, when we believe we have a right to something, we have not given the Lord permission to allow an outcome different from what we want.
So this passage came to mind and I had to stop and ask the Lord what the source of my anger was. I relinquished my rights to the mango tree, the house, the whole situation.
Straightaway, I felt my anger just melting away like that. And peace just came over in a huge rushing torrent (thank You Lord!).
Very inexplicable.
Except that the Lord must have taken it away and nailed the very thing that would have caused me to sin.
Now I still don’t know what exactly is the source of my anger but I know now that God is with me and He wants to be the Lord over my emotions, my thoughts & expectations & every other aspect of my life.
Even when the situation gets out of control and I get scared and the anger flares up as a smokescreen, I need to remember that there is a source to this and I need to allow God, not my emotions to take over.
So all I need to do each time I am about to lose it: take a deep breath, remember this, surrender to God and receive His help. Period.
Ways to beat the summer heat April 6, 2010
Posted by judegrrl in Culture shock, Days of our lives, Eat to live, From the heart of Thailand.1 comment so far
The weather has become unbearable in the last week. It’s been reaching highs of 38 deg celcius. Meaning that my walls are roasting, the house becomes a furnace, my sweat drips off me constantly when I cook/ clean and my bed literally scalds (Vince jumped up from it after attempting to lie down).
Worse, I’ve started breaking out and my mouth has been spotting ulcers for quite a while.
Ahhhh, this is far worse than my 1st Cambodian visit- perspiration starts running after 8am! As again, this is a sure sign of Songkran (Thai new year) which falls on next Tue-Thur!
As a form of catharticism, I’ve devised a list to keep myself cool & level-headed:
- Wake up early to finish chores before 8am
- Have the fan on full-blast
- Escape to aircon coffee shops/ malls for relief
- Hoard lots of ice-cream in freezer
- Turn off all heat-producing electronics (lights)
- Adapt to local wear (meaning light, Ah-Mah looking cotton tank tops)
- Adhere to TCM beliefs and stay away from heaty foods such as mangoes from my garden, fried/baked foods, iced water
- Douse myself with cooling foods like yoghurt, coke with salt, kimchi, Chrysanthemum tea, tangerine etc
- Shower at least 3 times a day
- Sit on the floor as much as possible
May God have mercy on us here in Khon Kaen!! Send us rain and wind aplenty during the hot season!!
Double Choc Chip muffins January 28, 2010
Posted by judegrrl in Culture shock, Eat to live, Kitchen talk.Tags: baking
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Yesterday I made a bunch of double choc chip muffins for my students. I know I shouldn’t do this but I like to try out new recipes on different people. This means that I never know what it’s going to taste like or how my recipients would take to it.
So I made the choc chip muffins. Unlike previous recipes I had tried before, this one didn’t require butter or the use of a mixer. In the end the muffins came out rather heavy and dry. I felt like I was going to have a sore throat just after having one! The mixture must have lacked air and all the choc chips had sunk to the bottom of the muffins.
But I couldn’t bear to dump the whole lot into the trash. So I prayed over them (both during and after the making) and then deposited the whole lot into a Ziploc bag. Now to find some suckers for my muffins!
First up was my teacher Auy who gamely ate the first one and another after that. Hmmmm, so it’s not too bad after all. Auy told me to have more confidence in myself, that the students would take anything free. However I couldn’t see it her way; as the teacher I see it as my responsibility to educate the students, to expose them to things beyond their culture and nation. And when it comes to letting them experiment with new “foods”, it had better be good or I would end up alienating them forever to all things non-Thai!
Strangely enough, the students gobbled them up. They said it was good (maybe they were being polite), that it wasn’t too sweet. Well the prayer must have worked wonders. Once again I am gobsmacked by this whole contradiction of the Thai/ non-Thai taste palate. What’s tasty to me is NOT yummy to them, and vice versa.
Anyway you can feel free to TRY out this recipe for yourself. Then test it on the people you don’t like so much (haha).
Recipe for Double Choc Chip Muffins:
2 eggs
1/2 cup oil (125ml)
1 cup milk (240ml)
1 tsp. vanilla
1 3/4 cups plain flour (240g)
1/2 cup sugar (85g)
1/4 cup cocoa (35g)
1 Tbsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips (85g)
Extra chocolate chips to sprinkle on top (if desired)
Preheat oven to 200 C and prepare muffin pan by greasing or fill with paper liners. A nonstick pan requires no greasing, although I like to just grease the bottoms. In large bowl mix well the eggs, oil, milk and vanilla. In smaller bowl mix well the flour, sugar, cocoa, baking powder, salt and chocolate chips. Combine wet and dry mixtures and fold together gently until just mixed. Spoon into prepared pan and sprinkle choc chips of top of each. Bake at 200C for 20 minutes. Remove from pan and cool on rack.
Nice sprinkled with extra chocolate chips on top of each muffin before baking.
This is a sombre post January 26, 2010
Posted by judegrrl in Culture shock, Father Heart of God, Mission.Tags: battlefield, sad, struggle
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Of late, there seems to be more to weep over than rejoice-worthy. Such as:
- Praying for my teacher Auy in her new house but all the while very much aware & sickened by the religious white thread that runs all over the perimeter of the premises;
- Jolted by the awakening of bad memories in my first year in Khon Kaen and shocked by the amount of hurt and distress the memories unearthed;
- Gutted by the story of my new neighbours’ tragedy of losing their firstborn/ elder brother & UNable to put myself in their shoes or offer any words or scriptures.
- Repulsed by the culture of lust, bribery, corruption and injustice that is deeply-seated within the Thai police force- and the attempted come-ons by the officers each time I step into the police station.
- The seeming hopelessness of Thai people coming to know Christ against the deep bondage of the land, the rampant idolatry and polytheism, even of so-called Christians.
Avatar in Essarn January 17, 2010
Posted by judegrrl in Culture shock, Culture Vulture, Mission, Movies.Tags: avatar, Thailand
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Today Vince and I watched Avatar, our first movie in English at the cinema. For me, the joys of watching a movie in English was tainted by the fact that it was in 3D; 3D movies never fail to make me feel nauseated and sick.
At any rate, by the end of the 3-hr movie, my spirits were lifted and I had enjoyed the movie sans 3D glasses. I felt I identified with the protagonist as the avatar and having to learn the ways of the Pandora natives.
In some ways, I too am like an “avatar”. My appearance is similar to the Sino-Thai living here and I have no problems blending into the peoplescape. However I still grapple with the language and the mindsets of the people. Some days I feel like I don’t pass the tests set for me here. That’s when I feel the gazes of people on me and I know that I do stand out after all.
Towards the end of the story, the avatar known as Jake returns to help his adopted people to overcome the “conquistadors” and lives on in his borrowed body. I know I have yet to pass my initiation or have reached the stage where the locals can trust me. Still it’s a wish, and a dream worth turning your back on your own people for.
10 Frequently Asked Questions (& my answers to them) November 14, 2009
Posted by judegrrl in Culture shock, Culture Vulture, Days of our lives, General, Thinking out loud.Tags: FAQ
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- How many children do you have?
- Are you pregnant yet?
- Why do you not have kids?
- How old are you?
- Who liked whom first, Vincent or Judy?
- What is your occupation?
- How long have you been in Thailand?
- How long will you be staying in Thailand?
- How much do you pay for your Thai lessons?
- How much did you pay for your mobile?
And my answers are:
1. None.
2. Not yet.
3. Not ready yet. We are giving ourselves 2 years before we start trying for one.
4. 30 (but I look 22!).
5. Depends on who you asked. According to me, Vincent but according to him, it was me.
6. Housewife. I normally stay indoors. Or in the exact Thai equivalent, I “merely exist in the house” (อยู่บ้านเฉยๆ).
7. Been here since February, approximately 9 months.
8. Depending on the situation/ God. Our work permit only allows us to stay for a year.
9. I pay 200 baht per hour and my teacher Auy is a teacher at AUA currently pursuing her Masters in Education.
10. Approximately 10,000 baht.
Sssshhh, can you keep a secret? October 19, 2009
Posted by judegrrl in Culture shock, Days of our lives, Mission, Thinking out loud.Tags: Khon Kaen, missionary, stress, struggles
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I’m writing this in the hope that none of my Thai friends will ever stumble upon this. Weeks and months of living in Khon Kaen has led me to this conclusion: I get highly stressed when I live side by side with Thai people.
Perplexing right? After all, Thai people are among the friendliest people you’ll ever meet (so much that they put me to shame half the time).
At any rate, I had a revelation in the evening on my way back from Roi Et. Enroute, I found myself getting increasingly irritated by the Thai worship music blaring in the van & requested for a different choice of music. The moment a different album was put on (Cantonese worship music), an instant change of mood came over me.
To me, this sudden transformation is akin to receiving fluids in my body after having endured hours of thirst and dehydration. I felt re-energised, revived and just better for no apparent reason.
And then it hit me: it has something to do with my love language (words). In the past 18 hours I’ve lived and walked with people from the church; I’ve travelled in the same vehicle with them up to Roi Et, pitched a tent and spent the night. I’ve eaten, worked alongside with them, heard nothing but Thai (save for the occasional word in Singlish/ Mandarin with my husband, plus an extended 30-min phone conversation with Tammy).
This proves that I’m pretty much still in denial. No matter how well my husband speaks Thai, how many compliments I receive daily or how much I try to convince myself otherwise, this does not alter the fact that I have yet to come out from this rigorous & highly challenging phase of cultural re-alignment.
A Walk to the Slums October 17, 2009
Posted by judegrrl in Culture shock, Days of our lives, Father Heart of God, Kids ministry.Tags: Khon Kaen, slums, walk
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From my house, it’s a 3-min walk to the slums along the railway. How ironic that a relatively well-off neighborhood like ours, within a stone’s throw from the goverment offices, would be situated so close to the squatters…
The trail from my neighborhood
Looking out to the slums
The World Harvest Foundation house
10 things they never tell you about being a missionary September 29, 2009
Posted by judegrrl in Culture shock, Mission, What the?.Tags: adjustment, missionary
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- You will spend days, weeks, months and even years lost in translation, alienated in your mother tongue while you struggle to acquire the local accent but never really quite succeeding in catching the full gist of what’s going on;
- You will be eyed suspiciously by the locals, always perceived as “wealthier” simply because you are a foreigner;
- You will never know for sure if the locals accept you for who you are or for the benefits you can offer to them;
- You will be viewed as a fish out of water simply because you were never one of them to begin with;
- You need an extra thick skin to laugh over gaffes, over all the blunders you will inevitably commit;
- You will always be the local/ neighborhood “attraction” that people point at and talk about behind your back;
- You will always be at least one size bigger than what is permitted at local level (!);
- You will lose at least 80% of the roles/ functions (counselor, teacher, confidante etc) you used to perform back home;
- You will experience a sense of loss, grief, depression, and other similar symptoms of maladjustment in the initial period of adjustment;
- You realise eventually that you are not the first person to undergo such transitions and that like your predecessors, you will one day get over the worst of it, recover and go on to lead a larger & richer life simply because you overcame the difficulties of moving to a new place and are now reaping the unbelievable rewards of living in a foreign country.
