Pushed out of my comfort zone July 4, 2010
Posted by judegrrl in Days of our lives, Finding my way around.2 comments
For three Sundays in a row now, God has been consistently testing my comfort boundaries and forcibly taking me past them.
I should be elated, exhilerated really. Except that I can’t bring myself to rejoice over that.
I struggle to put on a straight face. Especially when it comes to losing my private space and my personal time.
Especially when it draws nearer to our one Day Off-Monday- when my expectations are sky high and my guard is on an all-week low.
Then BAM! God hits me with an unexpected crisis/ event that requires me to have to lose my rights…
Ooohhh, how I hate it…
The 1st Sunday, it was a gospel rally I had to attend in the evening (after we had had a full day). The second time round, it was a friend whose car broke down and needed us to send his students home (this further required us to cancel our plans and go literally out of our way to send all 10 of them back!).
And this last one, which took place today was a similar critical event. As usual the responsibility weighed on Vince and he felt the urge to respond much more than I do.
I found myself on a journey to a neighbouring town, expecting nothing andd definitely feeling emotion-LESS, much less the need to have to go. But still I had to go- being the good, submissive and dutiful wife that I was.
At the end of it, the final word is: in spite of how rotten my attitude’s been, God never fails to bless me and send me back with a cup filled to the brim. Even when I drag my feet to meet these obligations, when I carry through with the very thing my flesh dreads, I see His blessings coming through for me after the testing.
Such as gaining new-found intimacy with Him, finding success and new revelations in my relationships with people around me, getting refreshed by a friend staying the night over.
To be truthful, the cost of obeying/ giving up my rights still stings. I still struggle to do it. Help me Lord, help me!
Market Kon Dern ถนนคนเดิน March 15, 2010
Posted by judegrrl in Culture Vulture, Days of our lives, Finding my way around.Tags: Khon Kaen, night market
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These are some pics of the lovely new market that just opened a mere 10-min walk away from our house. God is good to us in Khon Kaen!!
A Narrow Escape January 20, 2010
Posted by judegrrl in Days of our lives, Finding my way around, The Word speaks.Tags: KKU, teaching English
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Teaching English can be hard. I never knew how hard it would be until I took on my current class. Suddenly all my inadequacies, inexperience and pre-assumptions are uncovered and I realised that I am a rookie teacher.
This translates out to one thing: my universe is currently swallowed up by the never-ending hours of preparation, recording sound clips of conversation, brainstorming different approaches, surfing for endless hours for pictures & videos, researching other English teaching methods, printing out my handouts (yes, even that is a trial for me!).
I am grounded at home on the days before I have to teach (Mon, Wed, & Fri) as well as the days on which I teachThis means I’ve had to forgo several activities such as cell group at Baan Kuthong and even at the slum on some days. Basically, all my available time is planned around my teaching prep.
To make things worse, my printer broke down on Monday. Its indecipherable messages and refusal to cooperate has further thrown a spanner in the works. Now in addition to the class planning, I’ve had to plan for detours to find Photocopy shops that can help me print out my handouts.
All this would have been enough to make me tear my hair out.
But the Lord is good.
He’s been reminding me that His yoke is easy and His burden is light. Doing His work never requires us to break our backs or to strain beyond our human efforts to achieve supernatural results.
Today was a prime example of Him reaching out to help me. I was running late as usual, with ONLY one hour to travel to the uni AS WELL AS get my handouts printed. Lo and behold, my husband drove home just as I was rushing out of the house. Thanks to his timely arrival, I ended up getting a free ride that took me less than 10min, got my handouts printed out and then right to the faculty’s doorstep.
As a result of this, I was able to breeze through class today, setting up early and being less angsty than usual. And my students had fun too!
The phony bus line that failed to fetch me to my destination
Don't be fooled into thinking the line runs continuously
When e teacher is happy, e students r happy
Conversation on travelling in NYC- how the girls loved it!
The boys trying the darndest to catch up
My 2010 New Year resolutions January 11, 2010
Posted by judegrrl in Days of our lives, Finding my way around, handicraft.Tags: new year resolutions, unmet goals
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Before the end of 2009, I already had in mind the resolutions I was going to make in the new year: up my tithes, exercise at least 1x a week, be more people-oriented and pray for my sister’s salvation.
And among the unspoken resolutions was this: to finish up my half undone goals & objectives left over from the last year. These include prayer walking my neighbourhood, following up & teaching Am in basic Christian disciplines, sewing up my textile wall art. By God’s grace, my short story was done (whew!). Haha, now onto the rest…
Checking out a new cafe… November 5, 2009
Posted by judegrrl in Culture Vulture, Eat to live, Finding my way around, Geography.Tags: cafe, Khon Kaen
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The coffeeshop that beckons one in
The Little Shop of Bric-a-brac
Close up of wall, shelf barang
More bric-a-brac on the other side of the wall
And the Husband turns to me and asks...
Note: This cute little shop is a short distance behind Fairy Plaza. Bus 17 also passes this cafe… Ask me if you want to go!
First time in the pool October 10, 2009
Posted by judegrrl in Days of our lives, Finding my way around, Girlfriends.Tags: Khon Kaen, swimming, the Pulse
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Indoor pool at The Pulse
Nothing at all like the pools back in Spore eh?
Kluay & I in our modest "2-pc" outfits
Material Girl October 10, 2009
Posted by judegrrl in Culture Vulture, Finding my way around, Thinking out loud.Tags: Khon Kaen, lifestyle, shopping
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Last Friday my Thai teacher Auy brought me shopping. She’s great isn’t she? Takes her teaching seriously and even takes me on field trips :p
At any rate we spent the afternoon in Fairy Plaza- the other half of Khon Kaen’s only two shopping malls. Even though I’ve been to Fairy many countless times, shopping with Auy was truly an eye-opener.
First stop was Watsons. Walking down the aisles with Auy, I realised that the store was teeming with beauty products, all of which she had religiously studied or used before. There were brands and brands of skin-whiteners, concealers, fillers for wrinkles etc etc. And many of these were equivalent to the prices you would pay back in Singapore. I was shocked. And I learnt one thing: Thai women take beauty very seriously and they are willing to pay for it.
After the beauty stop, Auy proceeded to familiarize me with the clothing department. Again the prices were staggering: prices were comparable to what you would pay for a Mango or Isetan piece. This really serves to bring home the fact that there is a class of Thais willing to fork out prices as such. Materialism is well & alive in Khon Kaen.
I guess what made this trip stand out is that for these six months in KK, I’ve been acquainted with the church people who mostly shop for 2nd hand clothing or splurge on 150 baht clothing. If I let on that I’ve paid 50 baht for a second-hand skirt, they inform me that I’ve paid too much. Or if I wear a second-hand skirt that is remotely nice, it’s sure to invite comments (of the other sort). Which means I’ve all but given up trying to dress nice.
Unwittingly, I’ve become more like these people, preferring to shop cheap, dressing down on most days. Shopping with Auy has truly been an “out-of-my-world” experience for me. Makes me rethink why I do what I do.
Letter of Confession to a Friend September 26, 2009
Posted by judegrrl in Culture shock, Finding my way around, Mission, Thinking out loud, What the?.add a comment
Dear Friend
You’ve written to me lots about your own personal adjustment to the field. I dearly appreciate your sharing from your heart.
I agree with you on many things. And I love the recommendations you suggested for coping with life.
Such as using a subtle shift in perspective to overcome my current dissatisfaction. Before, I saw myself having to get along with my spouse’s ministry & friends. But if I can see them as MINE, I will not mind that they were HIS friends initially.
I also like what you said about conflict resolution with my spouse. The retreat-&-hide approach is hardly the best solution in improving relations; it would be stacks better to be open and talk about my real feelings.
And I definitely agree that the initial stage of starting out is always the hardest.
Did I think that I could skip this stage? As silly as it sounds, I have obviously forgotten that I am both newly-wed and a rookie in the field. This makes it a double whammy for me.
Now that I think about it I’m actually in denial. Some days I think it’s hard for me to be here in Khon Kaen but at the same time I tell myself this is NOT as hard as it could have been.
Why so? I’ve lived in another country before so this should be easier for me. Plus this is an Asian culture so I can appreciate the similarities much more.
Compared to other missionaries in similar situations, Vince and I have so much going for us. Vince knows people, he speaks the language and he gets around. It also helps that we’re Chinese, which makes it easy for us to blend in with the Thai people.
But…
Why is it that I cry when I think of friends back home?
Why do I still miss home? Why am I lonely here?
Why do I find myself battling melancholy, negativity and all other things?
If I really am having an easier time here than I did in Australia, why does it not feel any easier at all?
So I figure I must be in denial. This means I am not being honest with myself. It’s like my head knowledge and heart do not synchronize with each other. One is saying one thing, the other is not hearing and is saying something else…
So yes, I’m having a hard time.
As in “I’m out of my comfort zone”. As in “I am unable to express myself in 3 simple coherent sentences”. If there’s anything I need to say, I either say it in broken Thai using 2-3 words or I have to prepare the night beforehand, writing out every line and word what exactly I need to say.
Things that I took for granted before now takes a considerable effort to accomplish.
I have to go now. Vince’s cell group is waiting for me to join them. Thanks so much for your counsel. I will keep writing and keep the thoughts unravelling.
Reliving karaoke in a new land, new language September 14, 2009
Posted by judegrrl in Days of our lives, Finding my way around, General.Tags: karaoke, Khon Kaen, learning Thai
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Venturing tentatively into Thai KTV-land
Struggling to form my Thai words against the loud blasting music
For 30 baht, you can choose 3 songs
Goal #3.2: Recce for dance opportunities September 8, 2009
Posted by judegrrl in Culture Vulture, Days of our lives, Finding my way around, Geography, Thinking out loud.Tags: dance, Khon Kaen, recce
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Imposing facade
One of the first things that strike you before you reach Hug is its very imposing facade. Once you push past the gates that open quite easily, you step into a quiet porch made of timber, which opens up to a backyard streaked with plants and decorative garden items.
In the louvered area surrounded by glass and shadow (lit by artificial lighting), the receptionist quickly rises and enters the patio to greet you. You did not know that you had made such a spectacular entrance, until you remembered that you came along with a farang friend.
And soon you find out that the school has only just opened for 8 months but is already making a splash in the after-school extracurricular circle. Parents who believe in elite schooling do not hesitate to park their kids here for a course either in arts, dance or dance- the US$10/hr tutoring price tag does not make them blink twice.
The receptionists however are friendly enough to try communicating to you in faltering English. And yes you can try out the first lesson for free- just to see if you are suitable for their short courses which run for 3 months.
I think I’ve just been baited by the tempting free class *rubbing hands in glee*
